Randy Mac’s Livin’ It Up: Faring well at the health fair

Randy Mac

Randy Mac

Several years ago, when I was drinkin’ WAY too much coffee, I began to experience some stomach problems. Since I had battled stomach ulcers as a young adult, I decided I’d better get a check-up.

I went to see my doctor, expecting the ulcers had returned. While I was there, I asked Dr. Wayne to do a full lab work-up on me, just to give me a better idea of my full condition.

Turned out I DIDN’T have ulcers again. I was just battling the results of too much acid. My doc significantly reduced my allowed intake of coffee daily. He said I could drink all the Kava™ I wanted. Kava™ wasn’t decaffeinated, but was 99 percent acid-neutralized. It was also INSTANT. I DON’T DO INSTANT. (Okay, I did for a while.)

When the lab results were returned to Dr. Wayne, he wrote the results on that crinkly, white paper that covers the little bed in the exam room. I asked him what all those numbers meant. His response?

“It means you, most likely, won’t die of a heart attack anytime soon.  But if the Lord gets ready for ya, He’ll call.”

Got it.

Last Friday morning I made my way, for the first time, to the Health Fair at the Expo Center.  I was told there were several booths and I could get some basic lab work done, have my blood pressure checked, and get checked for skin cancer — all at no cost. I decided to take advantage of this opportunity.

When I walked into the Expo Center, I was surprised at what was going on. There were tables everywhere. I registered at the first table and was given a nice bag. I asked what the bag was for and was told it was for gathering all the free “goodies” at the various stations around the room. I also received a “report card” to carry with me to record the results of the tests I would be given. (Within about five minutes I had lost my report card. Brought back mem’ries of long ago.)

I made my way through the maze of tables, finding the places I needed to go to get the tests done. As I meandered through the room, I was also gathering the items offered to visitors, filling my bag. There were tables with important reading material dealing with things like diabetes, skin cancer, emergency air evac operations, etc. There were also stations with things like bandages, sunscreen, hand sanitizer, pens, playing cards, key chains and such. The sheriff’s department was even giving away gun safety locks. Nice!

I left the Expo that morning feeling good that all of my tests showed I was in the “normal” range. (No comments, please.) The only table display that caused me a bit of wonder was the one that held two large platters of dentures. I was going to throw some in my bag, but wasn’t sure exactly what I’d do with ‘em when I got home.

Life IS an adventure. I’m livin’ it up!

P.S.  I’ll be pickin’ and grinnin’ at Hammond’s Friday night from 6 to 8 p.m.  Join us if ya can!

Randy McLelland, known as “Randy Mac,” is pastor of Cornerstone Christian Fellowship and an entertainer. He can be reached at randymac@randymac.com.

One Response to Randy Mac’s Livin’ It Up: Faring well at the health fair

  1. Gail Stubbleield Reply

    August 7, 2013 at 4:10 pm

    This made me laugh so hard, been there done that.. hope your doing good and keep up the good work!!!

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