Randy Mac’s Livin’ It Up: A sticky situation, Part 2

Randy Mac gets "the works" for a good cause. Photo courtesy of Randy Mac

Is it a frilly Bigfoot or a mutant bird? No, it’s Randy Mac getting “feathered.” 

Photo courtesy of Randy Mac

(Continued from last week)

I stood there at center of the stage, which had been covered with plastic sheeting. I watched as the students began taking the lids off those jars of molasses, and in a matter of seconds, I felt the gooey syrup hitting the top of my head as they poured it on.

The crowd seemed to be going wild, yelling, jeering — laughing.

The kids were also armed with those little sponge-on-a-stick paint brushes. As the molasses made its way downward, they made sure that there was no part of me left uncovered. I had a full beard in those days and can still remember the feel of those syrup-soaked sponges as they were dragged against the grain on my beard, making sure there was plenty of stickiness there as well.

After all of the molasses had been poured and painted on me, I was instructed by my beloved youth group to “lay down on the floor.” I did. They were getting all of the molasses that had dripped onto the plastic onto their little brushes and then onto me. These guys were tenacious!

When they were satisfied that I was well-covered with molasses, I was told to stand up. Again, I did as I was told. Some of the men near the stage began to assist the kids by ripping the pillows open with their pocket knives. The feathers began to fly, and in seconds I was purdy much a sticky, fluffy-looking mess.

But that wasn’t good enough. When the pillows were empty, somebody hopped on the stage and split that twin-size feather mattress right down the middle. More instruction for me.

“Lay down INSIDE the mattress.” I did.

Those wild young’uns began to roll me around in that feather-filled mattress. I likened it to “Shake-n-Bake.” I crawled out of the mattress and stood up again. I took off my goggles. Where they had been was the ONLY place that was void of molasses and feathers.

After modeling my new garb for a few minutes, it was time to get cleaned up. I climbed into the back of a friend’s pick-up and was taken to the car wash. There was one stall there that had a small glitch in the wand. When you dropped your quarter (yes, just one!) in, a lower pressure spray would begin without your pulling the trigger. We went to that stall.

I got down on my hands and knees over the drain and my friend used that low-pressure to “cut” the feathers and molasses off of me. There was no hot water in that system, and I learned quickly that cold water tends to “set” molasses, more so in November. But we were, at least, able to get most of the feathers off.

When I got home, I just stood under a hot shower — wearing everything, including my tennis shoes. It was most refreshing to feel the goo melting out of my hair and beard and off my body.

I think I’ll never do THAT again!

Life’s an adventure. I’m livin’ it up!!!

Randy McLelland, known as “Randy Mac,” is pastor of Cornerstone Christian Fellowship and and entertainer. He can reached at randymac@randymac.com.

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