Randy Mac: ‘Costume malfunctions’ hit close to home

We’ve all had ‘em. I’ve written about some of mine in earlier editions of “Livin’ It Up.”

Randy Mac

Randy Mac

You know — those seconds when you’re out in public — or have been — and realize that something about your appearance is not as it should be. I’ll briefly recount some of mine for those who may have come on board more recently.

There was the time I did a program for an all-ladies group. I stood on a stage for forty-five minutes in front of ‘em — not knowing that my britches had ripped from the bottom of the zipper  – ALL the way up the back side.

There was the time I did programs at two nursing homes and went to several stores in the town we then lived in, forgetting I had cut all the buttons off the coat I was wearing to put on another coat.

I took Robbie out to supper one night and spilled a FULL glass of water in my lap. I was wearing light blue Levis. (I walked REAL close to Robbie as we made our way to the register and out to the car.)

I got home late one night from a banquet. When I peeled my jeans off I found myself wondering whose light blue gum that was, and how long I had been wearing it on my backside.

And, of course, there was the night at “The Promise” that I ripped my overalls WIDE open at the end of the first half of the show.  (Duct Tape saved the night.)

A couple of years ago I was invited to spend some days with our dear friends Johnny and Brenda Windham in Pennsylvania.  We had a blast. I saw country I had never seen before, and we laughed a lot during those days. Great folks, those Windhams!

Came the day I had to say “goodbye” and make my way back to Texas. Johnny and Brenda took me to the airport. There was a lot of ice and snow covering the parking lot that afternoon. I’ve found myself on the ground more than once in these kinds of conditions, so as we got out of truck, I did so very carefully.

Johnny had one of those truck bed-covers on his pick-up, and my big suitcase was underneath it. Johnny dropped the tailgate and I reached in to drag my luggage out. Just as my suitcase touched the ground, Brenda said, “Oh, Randy — you’re unzipped!” I near-about fell over the suitcase as I dropped it and made a quick reach for the front of my pants.

Then she clarified.  “I mean the zipper on your suitcase is open!”

I gave Brenda some helpful advice: “Don’t EVER say the words ‘you’re unzipped’ loudly to a man out in public. It will cause a great deal of instant discomfort!”

Life’s an adventure. I’m livin’ it up!

Randy McLelland, known as “Randy Mac,” is pastor of Cornerstone Christian Fellowship and and entertainer. He can reached at randymac@randymac.com.

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